Bruises

Today I had a wrestling match with a stupid clothes rack. Bugger it. The stupid thing just broke and somehow landed-crushed-wrestled-wtfish me.

I almost broke a finger. But I didn't. Bruised and swollen is a gazillion times better than a broken finger.

And there's this bruise-scratch on my arm that looks like I've been a victim of domestic violence.

Right. Blood clot.

Now I need a hunky hunk who has first-aid knowledge and soft hands to get rid of this patch of clotted blood for me. The ability to sweet talk will be an advantage (seeing as I have to put up with pain -- I do not like pain).

Any takers?