Dearest Yen Chiew

This entry is especially for you:

Fifteen years ago, when I first moved to the 'city' from another town, my mom made me attend this extra class at night so that I could be a little bit more literate in the Chinese language. After a series of mishaps (i.e. I went to this horrigible tuition class which the teacher is a dragon), I wasn't really looking forward to this new class. That night I was apprehensive.

That night, I also became friends with this little girl whom, at that time I didn't know, would be one of my best friends for life.

For the next two years in primary school, we were in the same class, we were made school prefects, and being kids, we had a genuine uncomplicated friendship.

At 12, we went on our first school fieldtrip to Cameron Highlands :)

Somehow or other, we were never fated to be in the same class ever again for the next five years of high school. Always the 'class next door', but the friendship never wavered.

At 17, we threw a surprise party for Jin on her birthday :)

Fate switched course the following two years, making both of us classmates and seated us together to overcome the challenging Sixth Form years. The awesome, yet incredibly tough years, the fear of a certain subject teacher, the class projects, the laughter and the tears.

Can you believe it, we've been friends for NINE years!

After that we parted ways and went really far across the country. You went all the way up north in West Malaysia, and I flew across the South China Sea to attend tertiary studies in the Land Below The Wind. We still call each other, or talk to each other online. I picked a fight with you in 2005 (which I am still extremely sorry and embarassed for--that was stupidly dumb).

In 2007, you shared with me this little piece of exciting news about a certain boy who cycled all the way to your place to see you and gave you coffee because you said you were out of it (you coffee-addict, you).

In 2008, during Chinese New Year, you came to my place with this jock in a chinese shirt, whom we bullied shamelessly :)

Early this year, you shared with us one of the best piece of news ever when you informed us about certain special dates, and all of us oh-so-far-away got all hyped looking for flight tickets and applying for leaves.

And last night, you, the beautiful, bee-yoo-ti-ful bride! Both of you make such a gorgeous couple!

Did you know we were so touched with your speech, we almost cried? (Shireen did :P) Did you know how proud and happy we are for you? (Very immensely indeed.) Does your husband know that we meant every word of the threats we made in the tiny changing room behind some storage closet? (Because we seriously will kick his @$$ if he mistreats you.)

Fifteen years, my dear. Fifteen years and counting. Now I'm going to tear up typing this.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you and Boon Tatt all the best and lots of happiness. ♥

Yours sincerely,

P/S: You know what Yen Chiew? You were right. Friendship IS forever, especially when it comes to special people like you :)

Maturity

25.

Twenty-five.

I always think the number 5 is like a cross-roads of sorts. It's kind of like a mid point of things.

When you were 5, you weren't as juvenile as when you were born, you have been around the playground a bit. You have been to nursery school for awhile, and in a few short years you will be 'officially' entering the education system.

At 15, you were in the midst of your teenage years. Still not very wise, but at least you do have slight realisations of stuff. Most probably you've had your first crush, first away-from-home trip, first etc.

Twenty-five. Another set of cross-roads.

To some it marks the exit from the education system. To some it means a decision to learn some more. Most have already entered the other system - the job market. Some are green, some are already veterans. Some have already set up their new family units, some are still discovering themselves.

A close friend is getting married soon. Another friend just had her first child. Several acquaintances are engaged.

Some may say that getting married at 25 is too young. But what exactly is too young? Is too young synonymous to being immature? Thus, is age a measuring scale for maturity?

I believe that maturity does not come with age.

Maturity comes with awareness, with experiences, and how we perceive and internalise the things we have learnt and been through. It comes with the acceptance of responsibility, to be accounted for every thing we do. The only factor age plays in this is that the older we are, the more time we have for experiences. And more time to reflect on them.

It's just like a research. The more time you have, the more data you collect, the more accurate your results will be.

That is, if you analyse your data at all. Some people just don't.

I think it is not very accurate of people to say that someone getting married at 25 is "too young". It is a social stigma, yes, it is a stereotyped perception, but I believe that such opinions are unjust because it is subjected to many other factors. I believe that if two twenty-five-year-olds are mature enough, are responsible and in a stable relationship (financially, emotionally, etc.ly) and they both made a sound decision to commit to each other, why not? I know a hell lot more older people who are less mature and are making a mess of things, so go figure.

Twenty-five. It's just another number.

Go PINK!

"Ignorance is bliss", so they said. Which may some times be true if you really don't want to know anything about anything at all.

But remember, just because you are ignoring its existence doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

In conjunction with Breast Cancer Awareness Month, let's talk about the silent killer.

Worldwide, breast cancer comprises 10.4% of all cancer incidence among women, making it the most common type of non-skin cancer in women and the fifth most common cause of cancer death. In 2004, breast cancer caused 519,000 deaths worldwide (7% of cancer deaths; almost 1% of all deaths).

In the world,

Every 3 minutes, one woman is diagnosed with breast cancer (USA).
Every 11 minutes, one woman dies from breast cancer (USA).
Every year, 30,000 women and 200 men are diagnosed with breast cancer (UK).

The incidence (number of new cancers) is steadily increasing. The statistics are more frightening in countries like the USA where about 184,000 new cases of breast cancer are detected annually. The National Cancer Institute estimates that by age 50, one out of every 50 women will develop breast cancer. By age 80, it will rise to one in 10. If this risk is calculated over their lifetime, one in 8 women will suffer from breast cancer. One in 28 will die of the disease. One in 3,000 women develop breast cancer during pregnancy and pregnant women tend to develop them usually in their 30s.

In countries where rates have been low, especially in Asia, the rate of increase has been the greatest with steep increases in the incidence as well as death rate.

In Malaysia,

Breast cancer was the most common overall cancer as well as the most common cancer in women amongst all races from the age of 20 years for 2003 to 2005.
Breast cancer is most common in the Chinese, followed by the Indians and then, Malays.
A woman in Malaysia has a 1 in 20 chance of getting breast cancer in her lifetime.
The cumulative life time risk of developing breast cancer for Chinese women, Indian women and Malay women were 1 in 16, 1 in 17 and 1 in 28 respectively.

(Radiology Malaysia, 2008)

A ONE in 20 chance. Are you aware of that? Banish the ignorance, because fear always springs from ignorance. Learn about it, read about it. Remember, convincing yourself that "It won't happen to me" doesn't change the statistics.

Click HERE for a guide on BSE.

Thank YOU for the ducky and the picture :)

Turn PINK for October.

I am turning pink to support all the strong women out there who are battling the silent killer with their every being; in honour of all the brave ones who have fought and have lost; and in celebration for all the survivors who have fought hard and won.

Why are you turning pink?

The Fine Thin Line

I came across a question the other day that asked me to complete the sentence "Facebook is..." and the first thing that came to mind was "...making stalking easier."

Stalking. Which is also roughly equivalent to feeding the attention-whore monster in the other party (the stalkee?) Sometimes it's weird as to how some people would later complain that they're being stalked, or people are nosy, when in the first place they plaster all their personal problems on public domain.

courtesy of Natalie Dee

In retrospect, it is a fine thin line between Concern and Obsession. Crossing that line would be intruding the invisible wall of Personal Space. And I don't know about the general public, but me, that is like one of the ultimate pet peeves. It tempts me to say "Excuse me, I would like a restriction order.."

courtesy of Natalie Dee

A fine thin line indeed.

How would you know then?

Answers.com says:

"They (the obsessed) will constantly try to be in contact with you when they are not around you, always want to be around you, always question you about all things, possibly get angry or a temper arises if you are not talking to them enough. You will see a very apparent neediness as well as become overbearing in a variety of ways."

But I reckon that paragraph is just to reconfirm your own hunches because if you don't suspect it, then there is a high possibility that it is not an obsession.

Said William O. Douglas, U.S. Supreme Court Justice: "The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom." but Jimmy Durante may have put it more apt by saying "Why doesn't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone?"

Concern bordering on Obsession. The Fine Thin Line. Crossing it would result in Dislike, Stifling, Annoyance.

Hostility.

Fear.

Paranoia is soooo not hot.

A Slice of Heaven

Absolutely Awesome Carrot Cake:

Ingredients
4 eggs
3/4 cups vegetable oil
1/2 cup applesauce
1 1/2 cups brown sugar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
3 cups grated carrots (use larger grater...like for cheese)

1 cup chopped walnuts

Directions

• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour a 9x13 inch pan.
• In a large bowl, beat together eggs, oil, applesauce, brown sugar and 2 teaspoons vanilla. Mix in flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, nutmeg and cinnamon. Stir in carrots. Fold in walnuts. Pour into prepared pan.
• Bake in the preheated oven for 40 to 50 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Let cool in pan for 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely.

Cream Cheese Frosting:

Ingredients

1/4 cup butter, softened

4 ounces cream cheese, softened

1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar (reduce for less sweet)

1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

In a medium bowl, combine butter, cream cheese, confectioners' sugar and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Beat until the mixture is smooth and creamy. Frost the cooled cake.

Recipe from Allrecipes.com with modifications. Thanks Françoise for the awesomeness :)

Have a great upcoming MALAYSIA DAY!

Nomads

I found this old thing I wrote down several years ago, and I thought it was a very good insight and still applicable although I may have changed and stuff.

The Nomads of Life

I had an insight the other day. You know, what with people around me are leaving and things are all coming to an end.

I reckon that Life is always nomadic. Even if you stay put in the same place, you still pack up and move to another new PHASE of Life. In a way, we are not much different from our nomadic ancestors. Evolution just changes the context of being a nomad. It can be the need to adapt to a new place, or meeting new people, or having to face new challenges.

Just that, sometimes, I wish there is something familiar to fall back on at the end of the day.

I also reckon one of the hardest things to do is to hold in the tears and smile while watching someone step into the departure area.

~ May 01, 2008

Surrealism

Surrealism is a cultural movement that began in the early 1920s, and is best known for the visual artworks and writings of the group members.

Salvador Dali's The Persistence of Memory (1931)

That aside, I am experiencing some indescribable feelings. It's not something bad... it's just surreal. It's like a bunch of anticipation plus a dash of anxiety. Did I say anxiety? I meant nervousness. Apprehension.

Right. I admit. I have pretty low expectations of people in general. Perhaps it is some kind of defence mechanism, but I seriously don't take people's word for whatever it is they say they will do. Better to not expect than to be disappointed, right? Sorry, maybe I've just come across one too many dumb@$$e$ along the way.

So yea. When somebody keeps their word about things you absolutely did not believe they will do...it's called a pleasant surprise.

And it's all very, very surreal.

Thank you very much for being the odd one out. Knowing that there are special beings who still keep their word keeps the hope alive.

I overkill word usage.

~ omg. countdown has reached Day 0!